Dating is much like a job interview. Often times, people are quite anxious about the interview process because their mindset is...Oh, please, choose me. I really need this job. Rather, the attitude should be...I like what I see from the outside, but let's look further to see if this position or this company is a perfect fit for both of us. Dating is very much the same. As a woman, I am guilty of saying ...Oh, please, choose me. I really need this relationship without considering whether or not the man is truly what I need or even a person in whom I would enjoy investing my time. For whatever reason, I have taken all of the pressure upon myself to be likable, pleasing, accommodating. The end result is heartache. I have spent so much time in a chameleon phase. Be everything to everyone. Then, when that person is gone, more time is spent trying to rediscover who I am really. Before long, I would find myself in another metamorphosis. A new guy, new interests, new personality, new me, only not really me at all. So what's the big deal? Everyone puts their best foot forward. Of course! Let's go back to the analogy of the job interview.
While the interview can be aced, the employer will not consider the interview if you can't actually perform the job duties required for your position. You had better be able to back it up with performance. How many times at the end of a relationship has your partner looked at you and said, "You have changed. You are not the person I thought you were" or "what has changed? You used to love this or that?"
So, how do we avoid these pitfalls? It is all a matter of attitude--your attitude about yourself, about God, about how you choose to spend your time. It is knowing who you are and discovering God's plan for your life. Remember, you are not the only one to consider in the potential relationship. You may believe he is perfect for you, but you may not be what he needs or what he is seeking. Not only that, you may not want to be what he is looking for especially if there are impure motives.
Before beginning any relationship, romantic or otherwise, you should bathe it in prayer. Prayer is the only way to avoid pitfalls. Everything else is secondary. The prayer I have adopted in my life is short, but very powerful because it is biblically based and so it is, therefore, the will of God for my life.
As this blog develops, I will likely share some very intimate, very painful experiences that have brought me where I am today. The points I will bring out, I can certainly back up. Some people might think it is tacky for me to share such intimate details of my life. Someone once said that it is the compliation of wrong decisions and heartbreaks that later become known as experience. What does the song say? "Devil, if you had only known the place where the storms would take me, you would have left me alone." If my story can save someone from the traps I have fallen into, then I believe I have given Satan a blackeye. I am going higher--like it or not!
As I continue this journey, God is molding me into the woman He created me to be. I am the daughter of a King, and my Father loves me best!
So, hang on...this could be a wild ride!
While the interview can be aced, the employer will not consider the interview if you can't actually perform the job duties required for your position. You had better be able to back it up with performance. How many times at the end of a relationship has your partner looked at you and said, "You have changed. You are not the person I thought you were" or "what has changed? You used to love this or that?"
So, how do we avoid these pitfalls? It is all a matter of attitude--your attitude about yourself, about God, about how you choose to spend your time. It is knowing who you are and discovering God's plan for your life. Remember, you are not the only one to consider in the potential relationship. You may believe he is perfect for you, but you may not be what he needs or what he is seeking. Not only that, you may not want to be what he is looking for especially if there are impure motives.
Before beginning any relationship, romantic or otherwise, you should bathe it in prayer. Prayer is the only way to avoid pitfalls. Everything else is secondary. The prayer I have adopted in my life is short, but very powerful because it is biblically based and so it is, therefore, the will of God for my life.
"Lord, you know me better than I know myself. You know my likes and dislikes. Father, you know my strengths and my weaknesses. What might appear to me to be perfect may not be. Lord, Your Word tells us that You know the thoughts and intents of every man. Give me ears to hear what I need to hear and eyes to see what I need to see so that I am not deceived. I pray your perfect will be done. In Jesus name, Amen."Now, it is not enough to just pray this prayer, but you must also be open to the answer, open to His perfect will whatever that may be. Remember, Scripture also tells us that "all things work together for good." ALL THINGS. You must realize a relationship that does not work out may very well be to save you from much, much heartache down the road. I believe it is crucial to pray that God fill every void so that the person you meet does not become the filler. If the relationship doesn't work out, the void is still there because the filling was only temporary. If you've ever had dental work, you know that a temporary crown is placed while the permanent crown is being molded for permanent placement. The temporary crown is a quick fix, a filler. When the person God has for you comes along, he has been molded and is now ready for permanent placement. The void now filled permanently, forever. God will be the bonding, the cement that holds everything in place.
As this blog develops, I will likely share some very intimate, very painful experiences that have brought me where I am today. The points I will bring out, I can certainly back up. Some people might think it is tacky for me to share such intimate details of my life. Someone once said that it is the compliation of wrong decisions and heartbreaks that later become known as experience. What does the song say? "Devil, if you had only known the place where the storms would take me, you would have left me alone." If my story can save someone from the traps I have fallen into, then I believe I have given Satan a blackeye. I am going higher--like it or not!
As I continue this journey, God is molding me into the woman He created me to be. I am the daughter of a King, and my Father loves me best!
So, hang on...this could be a wild ride!
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