Pitfalls

noun \ˈpit-ˌfȯl\

1: trap, snare; specifically : a pit flimsily covered or camouflaged and used to capture and hold animals or men

2: a hidden or not easily recognized danger or difficulty

As Christians, we know God knows all there is to know about us.  We count on that fact, but have you ever considered just how much Satan may know about you?  We are warned in 1 Peter 5:8 that we are to "stay alert and pay attention.  There's an enemy out there."  Think about it this way.  Do you believe our military would engage in battle without knowing anything about the opposition?  To bring it closer to home, do coaches send their teams into a game without studying the other team? 

Satan knows you better than you think.  He knows your weaknesses, your insecurities.  So, let's remove the camouflage and expose some very real traps of the enemy. 

Flattery

Romans 16:18 plainly tells us there are people who "by smooth talk and flattery...deceive the minds of naive people" to "serve their own personal interests."  It is embarrasing to admit that this trap is one I have fallen into countless times over the years and not just in romantic relationships.

A confident person may not fall into this trap because they are not looking for someone to validate them.  They can often spot deceit very quickly, but someone who struggles with their identity, self-worth, or appearance may fall quite easily for someone who has sugar dripping from their lips.  We should pray as King David prayed in Psalms 120:2, "Rescue me, O Lord, from liars and from all deceitful people."

Beware of sweet words and pet names that roll all too easily off the tongue.  Baby, Sweetie, Darling can all be applied to anyone.  They are not personal.  They are general and overused in my opinion.  I've always thought they were a good cover so the guy doesn't call you by the wrong name!  Sounds a little over the top, but you cannot take anything for granted in this type of all out warfare. 
Proverbs 26:23 cautions "Smooth words may hide a wicked heart, just as a pretty glaze covers a clay pot."

Also, beware of the "I love you" too soon in a relationship.  There are people who have the priviledge of meeting their soul mate and falling in love instantly.  However, that is not a common occurence.  Love is not a switch that can be turned off and on at will.  If the person you are with can, that person does not love you and is quite likely incapable of really loving anyone other than themselves, of course.

Little, White Lies

No such thing.  A lie is a lie, is a lie, is a lie.

People lie in all sorts of ways and for all sorts of reasons.  Misrepresentation and lying by omission are two of the most popular ploys in the dating game.  These distortions are like steps in the mating dance.  It seems as if everyone does it easily and very well, I might add.  The motives may seem innocent enough, but truly they are not.  The real motive is quite obviously to get what is wanted by any means necessary.  Bottom line--to feed the appetite whether it is love, companionship, or just to get someone into bed.

Actually, it is the "little lies" that are more frightening to me.  I am always perplexed by people who find it easier to tell a lie than to tell the truth.  "Big lies" I do not condone by any means, but I can understand how a person would be more likely to use evasion or falsification to get out of a bad situation or to cover up an embarrasing mistake.  I cannot fathom the propensity to flat out lie about things that would make no difference one way or the other.  If a person will lie about the little things, the big things are a given.  So beware and be on guard.  You cannot take anything or anyone at face value. 

Psalms 5:9 bears this warning, "For there is nothing trustworthy or steadfast or truthful in their talk; their heart is destruction [or a destructive chasm, a yawning gulf]; their throat is an open sepulcher; they flatter and make smooth with their tongue."

Adultery

Finding yourself in this trap can be debilitating; the shame unshakeable, the impact of being blindsided unbearable, the betrayal soficating.  The most important thing to remember is there is forgiveness for you and you can move forward.  There is life after.

"The topic of adultery is so complex and there are so many ways to become entangled in its web.  For that reason, I have devoted an entire page to the topic found under the tab entitled, "The Adulteress."

Unequally Yoked

You may be wondering what it means to be unequally yoked.  2 Corinthians 6:14 says it best.  "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"  I know from experience this kind of relationship does not work.  I also know so many Christians who go to a bar to meet people.  Then, once they get married or have kids, they get so frustrated trying to mold their spouse into a Christian husband and father. 

I did this, too.  It didn't work.  Now, my kids don't even know their father and I as a married couple.  They will never know what it is like to live with both parents.  It is fortunate for us and them, that we separated while our kids were so young because they didn't have the adjustment that older kids have when they do know otherwise.  The point is, if I had taken a another approach, stayed on the right path, life for me would have been very different.

Another scripture I refer you to is found in Luke 24:5.  The angels at the tomb of the risen Jesus asked the two women, “Why are you looking among the dead for someone who is alive?"  I would ask you the same thing.  Why would you look among those whose Spirit is dead, those who do not know Life in Christ?

Wrong Desires

James 1:14 advises, "Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away."  Desire is a very strong emotion that can drive you to do things you never thought you would be capable of doing.  There are many things we long for physically, emotionally, even spiritually.  Often times, those longings aren't evil, sinful, or unnatural.  Many are God-inspired; however, they can become sin if not kept in the proper perspectives and boundaries.

For instance, sexual desire is natural and God-given.  Sex not within the boundary of marriage is fornication and that is sin.  Sex in the wrong perspective can become the sin of lust, adultery, prostitution, or to the extremes of perversion, molestation, assault, and rape.  Another example to consider is alcohol which in and of itself is not evil; however, in excess, it can become dangerous, and yes, sinful.  Of course, anything in excess is sin. Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 6:12, "Everything is permissible for me--but not everything is beneficial.  Everything is permissible for me--but I will not be mastered by anything." 

Derivative of Psalms 119:133 and Romans 8:5-6, a prayer to help with this pitfall:

Direct my footsteps according to Your Word.  Let no sin rule over me.  Lord, take this desire and replace it with one of Yours for my desires lead to death, but Your desires lead to life and peace. 

Defiling the Temple

1 Corinthian 6:18-20 instructs us to "Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.  Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body."

Really, what more is there to say?