The Accidental Mistress
...and so it finally happens. You meet your soul mate. What could be more exciting? You are totally, completely convinced that he is everything you have been looking for, everything you have prayed for, only you now discover he is a complete fraud for he is in fact, MARRIED.
Blindsided isn't even the half of it! You are not sure which is worse. The fact that everything you had hoped would be, will not be. Or, is it more devastating to realize everything that you thought it was, it was not? One big farce. Disillusionment, betrayal, deceit. Then, reality sets in and all "the little inconsistencies" begin to add up to one huge lie. While it is easy to say, but I didn't know, now you do.
Where do you go from here? Hopefully, you RUN, RUN, RUN away and you don't look back, but for some that is easier said than done. Decision time. Will you choose the right path or will you choose to compromise?
The Decision to Compromise
Whether knowingly or accidentally, you have now found yourself at a crossroad. If you pursue the relationship, you are an adulteress. If you end the relationship, you are alone, heartbroken. What now? I can tell you at this point in my life, I would much rather be alone than to have to "share" a person I love with someone else. For love, true love, does not ask you to live a lie. True happiness is found in doing the right thing, making right choices. Psalm 119:2,3 is confirmation: "Joyful are those who obey his laws and search for him with all their hearts. They do not compromise with evil, and they walk only in his paths."
Though it can be very difficult to let someone go based on principle, you must in this situation break free. You cannot, you must not, fool yourself into thinking anything good will come of it. If he left someone for you, what makes you so sure he will not do the very same thing to you? Not to mention, without trust, there can be no love. God can forgive and does forgive. If you are currently in a relationship founded on a lie, God can correct it, but not without true repentance. Some people premeditate sin. They believe they can commit the sin, ask forgiveness, and still end up with what they wanted to begin with. Doesn't work that way, my friend. God knows our intent; He knows our hearts. Nothing is hidden from Him.
2 Corinthians 6:14 "Don't become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That's not partnership; that's war. Is light best friends with dark? Does Christ go strolling with the Devil? Do trust and mistrust hold hands? Who would think of setting up pagan idols in God's holy Temple? But that is exactly what we are, each of us a temple in whom God lives. God himself put it this way: 'I'll live in them, move into them; I'll be their God and they'll be my people. So leave the corruption and compromise; leave it for good,' says God. 'Don't link up with those who will pollute you. I want you all for myself. I'll be a Father to you; you'll be sons and daughters to me.' The Word of the Master, God."
Fair Trade
Car shopping can be so much fun, but you have to always be on guard to be sure you are getting the best deal, the most for your money and the most for your trade-in. Would you trade a top-of-the-line, luxury vehicle for a used, run-down clunker that you aren't even sure will make if off of the car lot?
Engaging in an adulterous relationship is just as absurd. Liken your partner-in-crime to that of a crass, used car salesman with bad breath and a worse comb-over wearing a tasteless, plaid jacket and suffering from morbid obesity. Everything spewed from his mouth is a line with a motive--to make the deal. Once the deal is done, he is on to the next customer, or should I say victim?
Think about what you are trading: the right to be courted in public, the right to call him when you need him, the right to rely on him, the right to trust. Instead, you get to be the "dirty, little secret" he works hard to conceal dismissing you with lies and often insults. You know, You think I'd cheat with that? She pursued me. The poor girl has problems. She imagined an attraction between us, but I was only trying to be nice to her. And so on...
Now, visualize yourself as the top-of-the-line, luxury car and see him as the driver, always in control, always manipulating. You can know that he will wreck you. Then you will no longer be the shiny, new car, but rather a wrecked clunker that he will eventually discard, banishing you to his junkyard of a past. A graveyard of conquests and old, trade-ins.
Think the analogies seem silly? Stop for a moment and honestly consider the following scenarios. What if he decides to return home? "Old Faithful" takes him back. How exactly will you deal with seeing him with his family? Or worse, how will you handle it when he is sporting "The New Model" around town?
Bear in mind, it is usually "The Other Woman" who takes the brunt, the "Scarlet Letter" upon her chest. For whatever reason, men are often quickly and quite easily pardoned from their sin. Do not let him banish you to the junkyard. You are deserving of so much more--to be courted, to be treated as royalty, to be the one and only of the suitor fit for a King's daughter.
